BRB – I Have To Upchuck Into A Garbage Can

I don’t even know how to start this blog post. I seriously don’t. I’ve sat in front of my computer, typing a sentence or two just to delete them and start from scratch, over and over again.

I’ve always wanted to be a mother. For as long as I can remember – that’s what I’ve wanted most in life. Sure, I had other dreams and aspirations throughout the years (being a teacher was one, for example), but the one that never wavered was wanting to be a mother. 

As anti-feminist as some may take this (and I will wholeheartedly disagree with anyone who says such) – being a mother was all I ever wanted to be.

So when I felt “different” and decided to pee on  multiple sticks ( /after 2 years of trying with the love of my life, but that’s gonna be a whole ‘notha blog post) and the tests finally turned positive – I was shocked when I wasn’t immediately overcome with the feeling of euphoria. Sure, I was happy – but my anxiety kicked right in and the self doubt immediately started. 

I couldn’t believe it was true. I didn’t believe it was true. I started thinking the worst. Thinking that if it was true – it was too good to be true and that it’d be ripped away from me. Follow that up with a two scares that landed me in the ER within the same week of confirming my pregnancy – it was hard to believe that it was happening. But here we are, currently at 15 weeks and going strong 

This Crazy Thing Called Life First Trimester Woes

I HATED my first trimester, though.

From before I even confirmed the pregnancy, I felt like shit. Every single day. Not a day went by where I wasn’t exhausted and struggling to keep my eyes open throughout the day. After confirming we were expecting, it’s like my body was like, “Yup – here we go!”

Not a day went by where I wasn’t feeling ridiculously queasy and having to dash to the bathroom on occasion. Or having to have Mike pull over on the side of the road…or me having to jump off of the subway at a random stop to take advantage of the multiple garbage cans placed on the platform. I couldn’t eat and I could barely drink water. The only things I could stomach (no pun intended) and that helped ease the constant feeling of nausea was lemonade and sweet and sour chicken balls. Yup. Very random – but that was the case. Eventually strawberry ice cream and gummy bears were tolerable, which was obviously a very welcome feeling.

…but, I hated feeling like this and the more awful I felt, the more I started to doubt and question myself. 

How dare I complain about how the pregnancy was making me feel? This was what I had wanted for SO LONG – I had no right to complain.

The boogeyman in my head was working overtime, whew…let me tell you.

It was very difficult for me to grasp the idea that it was ok to hate how pregnancy was making me feel. It didn’t mean I wanted it any less…it just meant I wanted a good night’s sleep and to be able to eat a full meal without upchucking it mid-way through. 

Every pregnancy is different. Every body changes at different speeds and every expectant parent will go through a roller coaster of emotions. What’s important to remember is that it’s normal to feel all of these things and hopefully you’re surrounded by a strong support system who will help silence the boogeyman in your head.

Oh, and also remember that the tartness of lemonade helps with nausea. Remember that too.

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5 Things No One Tells You About Wedding Dress Shopping

5 things no one tells you about wedding dress shopping

When I found my dream wedding dress, I was so overwhelmed with emotions. I was crying, everyone I brought with me shopping that day was crying…random strangers in the store were coming up to me telling me it was the perfect dress for me as I walked back to the fitting room. It was a lot. Truthfully, the whole wedding dress shopping experience was A LOT and there’s so much that went on that I was not expecting. After trying on over 20 dresses, I’m here to share a few things I learned about wedding dress shopping.

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Don’t Let The Fear Outweigh The Excitement

The other night I found myself staring up at the ceiling as I laid in bed, fighting another battle with insomnia. I was following the cracks and lines along the ceiling that come from the wear and tear over the years, and I couldn’t help but compare it to the wear and tear we go through ourselves in life.

Like everyone else – I have been hurt. I’ve hit what I thought was rock bottom, been so hurt I thought I would never be able to trust or love again. My anxiety has always contributed to the feeling like whenever life is going great – something will inevitably happen, cracking my happiness to pieces.

Those little pieces have had to be put back together over and over. But, the damage is done, the cracks are there – and the walls I’ve built after each disappointment have to be rebuilt over and over – seemingly getting taller with each rebuild.

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Beautiful And Honest Quotes On Love

This Crazy Thing Called Life Quotes On Love
I love love. I’m a hopeless romantic, through and through. That feeling in the pit of your stomach, those butterflies? Yeah – I dig it.

So when I recently came across this post – I was inspired to share some of my favourite quotes about love.

Do you have any favourite quotes on love? Share them with me on Twitter – @thiscrazyblog!

♡ ♡  ♡ ♡  ♡ ♡  ♡ ♡

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Shutting Up The Boogeyman In Your Head

This Crazy Thing Called Life Boogeyman In Your Head

Real life isn’t always the silly selfies you see online. Real life can be hard; real life can be exhausting.

There will be those days where you feel down and out; those days where you feel frustrated and angry.

When you feel alone and have that boogeyman inside your head telling you things you don’t need to hear.

Those days where you will just want (and maybe even need) to just shut out from everyone and everything…and that’s ok.

There is no harm or shame in taking a little time to yourself.

It’s a healthy thing to do – disconnect and just ~*LiVe*~ your life.

It’s become so easy to get preoccupied and swept up into this whole thing, this “online life” we live…but, take that step back every now and then.

After the rain, the sun will reappear. There is life. After the pain, the joy will still be here.

Recharge and refocus your energy.

But always remember that no matter how bad it seems, it will get better. Keep fighting for your happiness. I promise, it’s worth it.

…ok, love you – bye. xx

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